


Can't Not Be With You

by Freerangeegghead



Series: Make You Be My Love [3]
Category: Booksmart (2019)
Genre: Committed Relationship, Engagement, F/F, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Healthy Relationships, Long-Term Relationship(s), Love, Romance, Tender - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2021-03-25
Packaged: 2021-04-20 16:16:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21989005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freerangeegghead/pseuds/Freerangeegghead
Summary: In which Amy and Hope have been together for a long time and wonder where their relationship will go next.
Relationships: Amy/Hope (Booksmart)
Series: Make You Be My Love [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1395370
Comments: 9
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rating: Rated T ~ M. Mature. Themes. Angst.  
Warnings/Spoilers: Femslash. Post-canon. Mentions of canon. Spoilers for movie.
> 
> Genre: General. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Nothing owned, nothing gained, prose all author’s. Give credit where credit is due though. (Please don't download and upload again and pass it off as your own.). Prose written by this author are all original and where possible, inspirations are acknowledged or mentioned. Thank you for not being trolls. It is much appreciated. Don't like this work? Skip and read something else.
> 
> Author’s note:Part 3 of "Indefinitely Maybe". Unbeta'ed. Mistakes mine. Thank you for observing courtesy when leaving comments.
> 
> Also, happy holidays!

Amy sits hunched inside the glass booth, back and throat aching, ears itching as she presses the headset to her ears, listening to the Chinese UN representative's tirade about trade and Western imperialism and condemning the arrest of Huawei's CEO whilst exhorting China's greatness. Her stomach rumbles and she realizes she's hungry. She brings up one clammy, trembling hand on her long, auburn hair and wipes the other sweaty, clammy hand on her pencil skirt. She pulls at her gray skirt, feels uncomfortable. Her girlfriend, Hope, had gone with her to buy new suits she could wear to the office so she'd look older than she really is, but that doesn't mean she enjoys the discomfort they bring. She pulls at the sleeve of her blazer, feels like it's too tight, sighs, stops and starts to tap one high heeled shoe - yet another concession she's made to look professional - against the carpeted floor. She's in one-inch heels and is wearing make-up and lipstick. She taps one foot against the carpeted floor, feeling anxious and restless. She glances at her watch and stifles the sigh begging to be let out. When the Chinese delegate is done speaking, she speaks into her microphone, translating what he had said as accurately as she can into the microphone, glancing once in awhile on her note where she'd scribbled notes about his speech. She'd struggled a bit with his accent, he's from the south and their accent is a bit stronger and unfamiliar but after awhile, she'd gotten used to it. Her English is as neutral and accentless as she can manage, knowing some UN foreign delegates are not as used to American accents as the others are. She speaks in a clear voice, her pace not too fast and not too condescendingly slow. The delegates listen intently to her translation, some taking notes, some nodding, some shaking their heads, but most just letting her speak. When she is done, the Chinese delegate nods and continues to speak. She swears she could hear the other delegates groan. She glances at her watch again. Almost 8pm. She hopes they would adjourn soon. She's tired and hungry and sleepy and would kill for some Chinese or Pad Thai. Her phone buzzes in her pocket. She resists the urge to check it, but when she finishes translating she glances at the notification and it jolts her awake. Fuck. Dinner with her Hope, Anabelle, Molly and Ryan. She'd completely forgotten about it. She glances at her watch again and sighs. The Chinese delegate is speaking again so she grabs her pen and takes notes.  
She glances at her partner, Jane, who nods, ready to take over after a few minutes, pen in hand. They take turns interpreting for the delegate, taking thirty minutes each so as not to be too stressed. Amy grabs a glass of water, sips and continues taking notes. On top of her notes, she'd written down "Vienna" and underlined it twice. After this is done, she and Jane are both going to Vienna for another UN conference. She twirls her pen, trying to focus on the Chinese delegate's words.

***

It's almost ten in the evening when she makes her way past the other customers at the bar. Normally she'd take the subway, but her friends had waited long enough. The bar is one of those little hip bars dotting the village, the decoration not nearly as tacky, the drinks affordable - or as affordable as it can be given this is New York and the service okay.Someone's singing a song on the stage, something acoustic and vaguely 2000s, the crowd a mixture of young professionals like herself and older ones in suits and casual wear, served by young servers in black shirts and pants. She checks her phone but spots her friends anyway, Molly's eyes bulging with excitement as she waves her over, Anabelle rolling her eyes, Ryan grinning. Ryan is wearing casual clothes, but Molly is wearing a suit and Anabelle, who has discovered the joys of designer clothes, is wearing a red designer dress and jewelry to watch. Ryan's joined a start up back in California, Molly is finishing her final semester at law school ane reviewing for the bar exam and Anabelle is working at some Wall Street Firm while she decides what to do next. Servers and people pass in front of her and she moves to see them. She smiles nervously and slowly makes her way to the them, wondering where Hope is as a large crowd blocks her way. She mutters "Excuse me" and waits impatiently as they stand around and say goodbye to each other and she stands there waiting before the crowd finally parts, and she sees a clearer view of the table, and Hope standing up at seeing her at about the same time she does. Hope stops, looks at her. Amy swallows, nervous, already going over possible excuses in her mind as she looks back at her girlfriend. But then Hope slowly gives her a smirk and a grin and Amy heaves a sigh of relief and slowly smiles as she takes the few steps to their table.

Molly and the others move over as they greet her, Amy murmurring her "Hello"'s and apologies as she moves to slide over to them. Molly moves to hug her and pauses briefly to tell her how good-looking she is ("Oh my god, call the cops...you're taking my breath away", to which she says" No, you are taking my breath away" to which Hope and Anabelle just roll their eyes to). Once they finish complimenting each other, Hope smiles and leans over to kiss her.

"Hey, babe," Hope murmurs in her ear, hand cradling her cheek, thumb rubbing her jaw. "You're late. What took you so long?"

"I'm sorry," she tells her, ignoring the teasing grins from their friends. "I got held up at work and..."

Hope kisses her again. "It's fine," she says. "Have you had dinner?"

When Amy shakes her head, Hope moves so she could make room for Amy. As they take their seats and Hope casually drapes an arm around her, she settles herself beside Hope, inhaling citrus and pine and leather as Hope shoves a menu towards her. As she opens it, she and Hope listen as Molly and Anabelle resume what seem to be an argument. 

"What did I miss?" she asks Hope.  
Hope shrugs. "Mass media and its role in perpetuating stereotypes? Dunno...""  
Amy nods. 

"Personally, to view media as a catalyst for change is like viewing video games as a catalyst for mass shootings," Hope tells Molly now,"Media is horribly reactionary."

"That's ridiculous,"Molly says. "And this coming from someone who works in media."

Hope shrugs. "It pays the bills."

"Also, video games are not the reason we have mass shootings," Molly says. "It's our fucked up interpretation of the second amendment, our broken health system that's failed our people and our obsession with firearms..."

Amy looks at Hope. "You're having fun, aren't you?"

"Your best friend's too easy to rile up," Hope says. "It's entertaining."

"Stop it,"Amy says, the quirk of a smile on her face. "You know she hates it when you play devil's advocate."

Hope grins. "Watch this." She turns to Molly. "I think Greta Thurnberg is overrated."

A silence ensues, in which Molly stares at Hope incredulously. 

"Oh, no, she didn't," Anabelle mutters with a roll of her eyes, reaching for her drink as they all wait for Molly to explode.

"Honey..."Amy murmurs. "Really?"

Hope just grins as Molly launches into another tirade. Amy ignores it.She just lets Molly rant as she turns to Hope and asks, "Anything good in here?" 

Hope shrugs. "Salad's okay, but the pasta's good, too. They've got veggie pasta, I checked." 

Amy grins at her.

"Drink?" Hope asks.

"Water's fine," Amy replies as Hope calls for the wait staff. 

Amy listens as Hope gives Amy's order to the staff: no onions, thousand island dressing, veggie pasta, still water, with a little ice, feeling like her heart is growing a little bigger in size as Hope earnestly talks to the wait staff, making sure the pasta is gluten free and has no allergens.

After Hope finishes ordering, Amy stifles a yawn as she murmurs, "Thanks, honey..."

Hope kisses her on the forehead. "Anytime, babe."

They turn then to the talk around the table, which has now turned to Ryan's engagement ring. Everyone looks at her ring and smiles, after which, Ryan turns to Amy then and asks, "So...what about you guys?"

The wait staff comes to deliver Amy's order and as Amy takes a fork and twirls her pasta on it, she asks, "What about us?" She takes a bite of the pasta and offers a taste to Hope with her fork. Hope leans over, tastes the pasta and gives her a thumb's up. Amy takes the edge of her napkin and tenderly wipes some sauce away from Hope's lips. Amy offers her glass of water and Hope mutters her thanks as she drinks from the glass.

Ryan watches them and replies with, "When are you guys getting married?"  
Hope almost spits out the water she's drinking and Amy almost chokes on her spaghetti.

***

"What?" Hope asks, as she rubs Amy's back gently and shoves the glass of water at Amy.

Amy drinks from the glass, nervously, her face flushed. "Yeah, um...ha-ha...what are you talking about?"

Molly and Anabelle smirk.

Ryan gestures vaguely in their general direction. "You're practically married anyway. Why don't you make it official? How long have you been together?"

"Four," Amy responds. "Last summer."

"Five," Hope corrects her with a smile. "Last spring."

Amy blushes. "Ah...ha-ha...yeah, what she said..."

"What's stopping you?" Ryan asks. "I mean, you're both young, nubile women. If you wanted to start a family, now's the right time..."

"Uh...ha-ha..." Amy's face grows redder. 

"That's...that's..."

"Not in the cards yet," Hope says, putting a warm, reassuring hand on Amy's knee. "For now, anyway."

"Uhm...ha-ha...yeah," Amy says, nodding vigorously. "We...uhm...said we'd um...wait?" She looks to Hope for confirmation and Hope nods her encouragement. 

"When we're ready," Hope supplies.

"No one's ever ready, ever," Ryan counters. "And what are you waiting for? When you're both more ready? I mean you guys have stable jobs and..."

Ryan is about to say something else when Molly puts a hand on Ryan's arm. "Hey, um, Ryan? When's the wedding? Where are you getting married? Who's going to be your maid of honor? Has Nick decided who his best man's going to be?"

"Spring next year? I didn't want, like, a fancy wedding, but Nick's family insisted? So it's some kind of beach garden hybrid wedding? I think Gigi's going to be the bridesmaid? I'm sorry, please don't be mad? Gigi made me promise she'd be bridesmaid way before Nick proposed?"

"Which was when exactly?" Molly asked.

"Night of Nick's party? When we first hooked up?" Ryan responds. "And..." Here she looks at Molly apologetically, "I think Theo's going to be the best man? Jared's going to be part of the groom's men?"

"Ah..."

And then just like that, Molly, Anabelle and Ryan discuss the bachelorette party, granting Amy and Hope a reprieve from Ryan's questions.

***

Truth is, they'd never actually discussed it. With Amy working long hours and her work taking her to other places (Beijing, London, Nairobi) and Hope working long hours, they barely have time to discuss dinner, much less marriage. At first, when they'd broken up Amy's senior year and gotten back together, they'd agreed to take it slow, separate apartments, separate everything else. They'd only agreed a couple of years ago to move in together, but that was more for practical purposes rather than anything else.

After they'd said goodbye to their friends, hailed a cab and made their way to their apartment, Amy looks out of the window, thinking about Ryan's questions.

Hope's hand rests on Amy's left knee, skirt riding up a bit to expose bare thighs. The warmth from Hope's hand spreads as she moves her hand from her knee to her thigh. She leans over, lips inches from Amy's ear.

"You okay?" Hope whispers.

Amy looks at the cab driver, who ignores them. She nods. "Yeah."

A silence falls over them. Hope's hand stays on Amy's thigh, thumb gently rubbing her skin, tracing circles on her thigh. Amy feels a slight tickle on her skin, feels the tingle behind her ear where Hope had whispered to her. She feels the warmth travel from her thigh to her crotch, feels desire slowly grow within her. She looks at Hope. The years have been kind to Hope. She's still as gorgeous as the day she'd first realized Hope was hot. In her button down shirt and jeans, she looks like a super model or a movie star. Amy swallows then, wondering when they'd get home.

"So...Nick and Ryan, right?" Amy says then.

Hope turns to her, smiles, hums her agreement.

"Who'd have thought?"

Hope smirks and nods. Nick and Ryan were an unexpected couple that few thought would last high school. Then again, nobody probably thought Hope and Amy, the most unlikely couple, to last either.

"They're getting...married, wow," Amy says then.

Hope sighs, silent. She puts her arm around Amy. "Who wants to get married in this economy?"

"Uh...ha-ha, yeah," Amy says, running a hand on her hair.

"It's just a piece of paper," Hope says, squeezing her shoulder. She leans over to kiss Amy on the side of her forehead. "Marriage is overrated, anyway. Long as we love each other, that's all that counts, right?"

Later that night, when she and Hope make love, Hope between her thighs, and inside her, whispering their "I love you"'s in each other's ears, a surge of that familiar affection for Hope, powerful and potent, courses through her, Amy can't help but wonder what it would be like to have Hope call her wife, to have a ring on her finger, to call Hope hers. But as Hope slides out of her and falls asleep beside her, Amy thinks it might never happen. And a sadness descends on her, realizing this is something she thinks she might want with Hope.


	2. Chapter 2

Hope wakes up groggy and sleepy to her phone alarm. She reaches for her phone, turns off the alarm and glances at the time. Three thirty. Fuck. It's fucking too early, she thinks to herself. Like she does every fucking morning. But she has to shower, and get going if she plans to be at work by five, prep for the show and be there when it starts. She sighs and glances at Amy, peacefully asleep beside her, on her stomach, giving Hope a great view of her naked back, all the way to her ass, which is partially covered by the blanket. She moves to plant a soft kiss on her girlfriend, runs a hand on Amy's back and is tempted to wake her up with a kiss - the thought of which is turning her on right now after a long night of lovemaking, a very rare occurence nowadays - but she has to work, so she silently groans and rolls out of bed. Naked, she pads to the bathroom, only a few steps away, careful not to wake her sleeping girlfriend. As she lets the hot water shake the sleepiness out of her brain, she stands in the tiny bathroom, rivulets of water running down her smooth, pale skin. She leans her forehead against the tiles, shivers despite the heat of the water. 

Their apartment, like the bathroom, is small, a one-bedroom apartment in an old brick building surrounded by equally old buildings. But it's brick and quaint and even though their view is of that of a brick wall, they have a rooftop that affords them a view of the city, a nice view of the sunset setting beyond the Hudson, and on days when Hope's had a bad day, standing on the rooftop with a beer in one hand and Amy on the other. She'd stood countless times on the rooftop, with her arm around Amy, realizing early on that there was nothing else she wanted but to watch more countless sunsets with the woman she loved. It's corny, she knows, but that's how Amy makes her feel, like nothing else matters. Like love is all that matters. Like Amy was all that mattered.

So what happened last night, Amy telling them in not so many words that she didn't want to marry Hope had stung. Sure she'd said they'd "wait", but the fact of the matter is, they'd never actually talked about it. Five years being with Amy, the last two of which they'd spent living together, practically married, so why hadn't they? 

Hope takes a deep breath, finishes up showering and steps out of the bath. As she grabs a towel, dries herself and proceeds to dry herself, she looks at her sleeping and girlfriend with sadness.

She knows, of course.

Whenever the topic of marriage would be brought up, Amy's face would turn red, she'd laugh uncomfortably, look at anywhere but Hope.

Once, right after they'd moved in, and Hope had been teasing her about her Birkenstocks, her books, her posters, a fan letter to Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama, a signed poster of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, books, a few collectible toys. She'd told her, "I can't believe I'm gonna someday marry someone who writes fan letters..."

Amy had blushed then, stammered and avoided Hope's gaze. Ever since then, Amy had been unable to look her in the eye whenever Hope had brought it up. She'd always looked nervous, even scared, it seemed whenever the thought of marriage was brought up.

She wonders if she's really that unmarriageable.

***

Hope's already gone by the time Amy wakes up. 

She can hear the coffee pot brewing, can smell the coffee wafting through their apartment, can smell butter and toasted bread and fried eggs - Hope must've made her some for breakfast, could smell the lingering scent of Hope's perfume, something light and airy and spring breezy lingering in the room. She reaches for her phone, turns off the alarm, and sees Hope's hastily scrawled note, "Made you breakfast. Have a great day, nerd", and feels herself smile through the grogginess. The note, in Hope's scratchy, loopy penmanship, carries with it the kind of light, affectionate teasing she's grown used to, has come to expect and has grown to love about Hope. Beneath the teasing is a genuine love there, and she could feel it in the coffee left brewing for her, the breakfast she made for her, the note she just left and inevitable message to her on her phone. Everything feels so...domestic, she wonders again, why couldn't they get married?

***

It's the question that she asks herself all throughout the morning, on the way to work, as she's setting up in their translation booth, as she listens and patiently translates what the Chinese delegate is saying.

Never mind that she'd mistakenly translated what the delegate has said and she doesn't realize it until everyone looks up and turns to the booth and her colleague is staring at her.

"What?" she'd asked.

"You just...translated what the delegate said as 'Let's get naked and slaughter pigs together...' also, you just called one of the other Asian delegates a horse..."  
Amy looks at her, horrified and hastily re-translates what has been said.

***

She can't concentrate.

A few weeks ago, she'd found herself inside a jewlery shop as she was waiting for Molly and it's where Molly finds her as she peers over the glass cases, looking at rings.

"Looking at rings, are we?" Molly asks.

"What?!? Ha-ha...err...no?" Amy replies, blushing.

Molly smirks. "Yeah? 'Cause you know, marriage is lame...it's an outdated, sexist, patriarchal, traditional, heteronormative institution that seeks to reduce women into property and objects, to be passed on from father to husband...or in this case...wife..."

"Last week, you were delighted Nick and Ryan were getting married...!" Amy points out.

"But you're not Nick and Ryan,"Molly reasons as they step out of the jewelry store. "You're Hope and Amy, badass gay couple...you don't do weddings..."

"Uh...why not?"

"Dude! Marriage ruins everything! The sex becomes lame, and I know that's kind of your thing..."

"That's...that's not our thing..."

Molly looks at her.

"Well, okay, it is kind of our thing," Amy backtracks, "But, there's more to it than that...She's my...person..."

"She's not a pet..."

" Whatever...she's my person and I love her and I'd like the world to know..." Amy explains. "Plus, you know, spouse benefits and shit. And emergency contacts and shit like that."

"Makes sense," Molly says. She thinks about this then stops in the middle of the street, to the chagrin of the other people walking around them and she asks, as if a thought just occured to her, "So, why haven't you?"

***

So why hasn't Amy proposed to Hope?  
She doesn't know.

There's no sexist, heteronormative, patriarchal bullshit rule that needs to be followed, they're making up the rules as they go along.

And it's not like there hasn't been moments when she hasn't the urge to blurt out "Marry me!" at Hope all times.

***

There were those moments of particularly tender lovemaking, when Hope is gentle and careful and kisses her so softly Amy feels like her breath has been taken away from her and as she titters to the edge and waves of pleasure wash over her, Hope holding her like she'll never let her go, Amy wants to blurt it out, whisper it in Hope's ear, say it over and over again, "Marry me, marry me, marry me" like a chant that matches her breath, her heartbeat, til Hope agrees and says yes.

***

It's in that moment when they'd gone to visit a Christmas village and Hope had sulkily trailed behind in the tour, rolling her eyes at the tour guide and her trivias, rolling her eyes at the houses, the Christmas trees, the Christmas lights, the overabundance of Santa Clauses and reindeers and snowmen (snowpeople?) but going along with it anyway, shivering in the snow, trudging up the sludge, because Amy loves Christmas and had always wanted to check out this Christmas village. And Amy had spotted some house with a perfect view and convinced Hope to sneak up the roof with her and Hope already knows it's a bad idea even before they start climbing it but follows Amy anyway. And for a moment, they sit on the roof, savoring the moment, huddled together for warmth, shivering, Hope's arm instinctively around Amy's shoulder, drawing her closer, and they look out, down at the Christmas village, all perfect and shining and white and Hope looks at Amy then and grins, leand over and kisses her tenderly and Amy smiles into the kiss, her heart seizing and there's a second of perfect stillness, of happiness and peace, where all Amy wants is to have moments like this on rooftops, holding each other and kissing each other, as the world carried on all around them. Then somebody discovers them and it surprises them so much Amy slips down the roof, and falls down the side and into the thick snow and the moment is broken. She limps away from the house, Hope holding her and they manage to run away enough not to be followed, hiding in some alley, and Amy looks at Hope and they laugh and she leans up and kisses her impossibly beautiful girlfriend and it takes all her restraint not to propose to her right then and there.

***

It's that time they'd spent Christmas at Sitka and Aunt Lydia wasn't particularly being nice to Amy, expressing her dislike of her at every turn, shaking her head at Amy's singleness, her lack of children, her apparent lack of direction, her...Amy-ness really, with her jeans and Converse sneakers and her shirts and jean jackets. And Amy and Hope had been polite and smiling, Hope restraining her brother from speaking up. But it all comes to a head during the Christmas dinner, when Aunt Lydia had said what a shame it was that Amy and Hope were wasting their lives, like all those other millenials and Hope could not take it anymore. Her knife and fork clutter to the table and she says, "You know, I've been very good with all this...shit..."

"Hope..."

"Dad,"Hope says warningly to her father. "You guys wanted me to be a part of your life again and I said that was fine. I wanted to be a part of one, too. But if all we get everytime we come here is some homophobic, sexist bullshit about me and Amy, then there's no point coming here ever again. Amy's family. She's my family. Deal with it."

She gets up then, pulls a surprised Amy to her feet and leaves in a huff, Amy smiling apologetically, leaving everyone shocked and silent.

Later, Hope apologizes, but not before Aunt Lydia leaves, too and not before everyone realizes Hope means business and they start treating Amy differently. Amy could have kissed her. And Amy did kiss her, over and over again, at the inn they eventually checked in that Christmas eve, and she almost wanted to propose to her then.

***

It's those moments when Amy knows Hope doesn't really relish visiting Doug and Charmaine, but she comes with Hope anyway, even though she always feels awkward and uncomfortable around Amy's parents, and she valiantly strikes up a conversation with them, even though they don't want to anymore than she does. And Hope jokes that she's great with parents, even though she's really not, but maybe her charm is rubbing off on them, because the past couple of years, Doug and Charmaine seem to have warmed up to Hope, asking her about work and about Amy ("She works too much," Charmaine would say, and Hope would say, "She really does," and Charmaine would smile fondly and say, "I'm glad you're taking care of my baby" and Hope just grins, uncomfortable with the attention) and there's always a place for her at the table, and though the family is largely vegan/ vegetarian, they've taken to adding meat and poultry to their menu whenever Hope is around, beer in the fridge, some chips and cereals because they know she likes them.

And they'd all have dinner, and the conversation would be light and genial and Hope would be snarky and sarcastic and ironic but she'd look at Amy and smile and Amy feels like her heart would melt because Hope is beautiful and hers and she wants to be with her all the time.

***

It's those little moments they share together, date nights and movie nights and arguing about whether they should watch another Ken Burns documentary ("Babe, I love you, but I can only take so much Ken Burns!" Hope would protest before giving in with a pout and Amy would lean over and whisper she'll make it up to her later and Hope grins and is appeased), little domestic things like doing the laundry together, or the grocery shopping together or making dinner together, sharing wine together, telling each other about their days, Hope complaining about her boss and Amy talking about the people she's met, the things she's done at UN. Amy always looks forward to coming home, because she knows Hope will be waiting for her. And lately, all she ever wants to do is make this thing with Hope last forever.

***

It's when she messes up another translation that she realizes something: she's done with this. She wants to go back to school now. Go to graduate school. Maybe take a year off. Teach part-time at Columbia. Travel. Fuck. She doesn't care. Life's too short. Maybe ask Hope to finally marry her.

As if on cue, Hope texts her, says, "Hey, babe, gonna be out in a few. Dinner somewhere?"

Amy's head is buzzing. "Yeah, okay."

"You pick the place."

"Okay."

***

It's some Italian Restaurant that's halfway between where they both work. It's cold and there's a hint of rain and Amy rushes through traffic, not wanting to be caught in the rain.

Amy's late by a few minutes, but Hope doesn't mind as she gets up and casually kisses Amy, making Amy blush, even though there aren't a lot of people around. The dinner crowd hasn't arrived yet and it's just them and as Amy takes a seat, she takes the time to enjoy Hope in a button down and tight jeans, as she runs a hand through her hair, other hand busy toying with the menu, long, tapering fingers tapping at plastic. She stares at Hope's fingers and suddenly has visions of last night, of where those fingers had been and she blushes and just nods as Hope orders for them, consulting her, asking her questions about her day and so on. 

As Hope launches into an account of how their male news anchor had refused to come out of his office because of yet another imagined insult, Amy just sits back and listens, watches Hope's lips, imagines her fingers tracing those high, smooth cheekbones, kissing those cheeks, those lips, burying her face into that graceful neck. Amy imagines the rest of her body, smooth and pale and hers, and she smiles. Hope is creasing her eyebrow now.

"Babe, did you hear what I was saying?" Hope finally asks.

"Um, yes?"

Hope leans over, smirks. "What did I just say?"

Amy grins. "Uh...ha-ha...Your boss is an asshole?"

Hope nods. "Close enough. Did you call Charmaine?"

"No, not yet, why?"

Hope shrugs. "Oh, my god. Call your mom. She keeps calling me. I don't know. It's weird. It's like we're married or something and she expects me to keep tabs on you...or something..." Hope's voice trails off when she sees the expression on Amy's face. "What? You're looking all think-y..."

"Why aren't we?"

" Why aren't we what?" Hope asks, as their order arrives, pasta and buffalo wings and cokes and she smiles at the wait staff and thanks them.

Amy takes a deep breath, casually lifts a shoulder. "Married."

Hope is about to take a bite of her pasta when she freezes, puts her fork down and stares at Amy. "What?"

Amy's face burns. This was a bad idea. But she powers through anyway, uncertain. "Married...why aren't we married?"

Hope just stares at her, then blinks and shakes her head. "I'm sorry, for awhile there I think you were asking why we weren't married?"

Amy smiles nervously. "Uh, ha-ha...yeah...I was asking that question, babe. Why aren't we married? Why can't we get married? Why shouldn't we married?"

Hope is confused and uncertain now, knitting her eyebrows in that way that Amy really loves. "Um...I thought we didn't want to...?"

Amy nods, cuts her off. " Yeah, years ago, when we were starting out...we said we didn't want tp...or something...and I'm wondering now, why not?"

"Amy...we said we'd wait...?"

"When? What are waiting for? When we're ready? No one's ever ready...I mean, Ryan's right..."

Hope makes a face. "Babe, I'm confused. What are you saying exactly?"

Amy pushes through and quickly says it before she loses her nerve. "Marry me, Hope."

Hope stops, stares at her, nervously laughs. "What?"

Amy leans over, reaches for Hope's impossibly long fingers, stares into Hope's deep, brown eyes and says, with all the sincerity and love she can muster, "Marry me, Hope."

Hope doesn't know what to say. "Uh...Amy..."

"I love you, Hope," Amy says, voice firm and sure. "You're family. You're my family."

"Okay...what about Doug and Charmaine?"

"What about them?"

" Don't you think their being Christians might put a damper on your plans a bit?"  
Amy is already shaking her head. "I don't care. I don't care about all that. I only care about you. Because I think no matter what happens, as long as you're there, nothing else matters."

Hope looks at her then, considers this for a second, before a smile slowly spreads throughout her face. She slowly nods. "Okay."

"Okay?"

Hope is nodding as Amy slowly smiles in triumph. "Yes, I'll marry you."

Amy looks up at the ceiling then, makes a fist pump and mouths, "Yes" and Hope laughs and Amy leans over and kisses her. Hope lowers her head and kisses her back. "I thought you'd never ask."

Amy laughs nervously. "Ah, ha-ha...I...was waiting for the right time."

Hope rolls her eyes. Then suddenly realizes something. "Oh, fuck."

"What?"

"Molly's going to be maid of honor, isn't she?"

Amy nods, almost apologetically.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Hope says as Amy comes closer to hug her.

Amy kisses her again. "I love you," she whispers.

Hope smiles. "I love you, too."

F I N 

**Author's Note:**

> PS Come check out my original stories at wattpad.


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